Wednesday, December 14, 2011
This is better than studying...
With an exam (the third exam to be exact) coming up, I cannot help but find myself doing anything to avoid studying. I even clipped my toe nails. But that's beside the point. This is way better than studying.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
DIY Home lab...
This guy was able to make his own lab on $500. So much fun!
You could do genotyping on yourself and your friends too! :P
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Daunting
The idea of obtaining a PhD is so daunting, that I'm quitting again.
I'll post again when I've stopped quitting.
-Elise
I'll post again when I've stopped quitting.
-Elise
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
The pressure of doing well?
Sometimes doing well is not the best you can do. I'm sure that sounds crazy, but I'm starting to believe it. The better I do, the more pressure I have to continue to do well. The more pressure, the more anxiety, and the less sleep I actually get every night.
I suppose it does not help that I am extremely competitive, or at least I have always been competitive in the past. I think that it is probably a good idea to stop being competitive when it comes to grades.
The other problem with doing well, is that other people start expecting you to do well. And when you have anxiety over exams, they blow it off because in the past it has worked out for you. I hate that people assume that my anxiety is for nothing. Anxiety may or may not motivate me on occasion, but it is still anxiety. My stomach still ties itself into knots, my palms still sweat. I cannot just stop being anxious.
I guess what I am trying to get at is: doing your best is always a good idea, but do not overburden yourself with the idea of straight As.
-Elise
I suppose it does not help that I am extremely competitive, or at least I have always been competitive in the past. I think that it is probably a good idea to stop being competitive when it comes to grades.
The other problem with doing well, is that other people start expecting you to do well. And when you have anxiety over exams, they blow it off because in the past it has worked out for you. I hate that people assume that my anxiety is for nothing. Anxiety may or may not motivate me on occasion, but it is still anxiety. My stomach still ties itself into knots, my palms still sweat. I cannot just stop being anxious.
I guess what I am trying to get at is: doing your best is always a good idea, but do not overburden yourself with the idea of straight As.
-Elise
Saturday, November 12, 2011
A fresh start...
Rotations. Having a rotation system in place allows for new beginnings, a fresh start in the middle of the year... or really two fresh starts at two different times during the year. But either way, today is a fresh start. A new rotation.
And it's not that I didn't enjoy my first rotation. I really did. I loved everyone there and I really liked my project. But I am ready for something new.
-Elise
And it's not that I didn't enjoy my first rotation. I really did. I loved everyone there and I really liked my project. But I am ready for something new.
-Elise
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
There's no crying in graduate school!
Well, maybe a little crying... okay a lot.
I've never cried so much over something academic in my entire life. Sure, I've been upset over exams, cried over frustrating English papers, wanted to throw History out the window. But I've never cried so much in such a sort period of time out of pure frustration with the sheer amount of knowledge they expect us to cram into our heads. I always thought graduate school would be about learning how to think and analyze, and I'm sure at some point I'll get there (maybe...), but for now it's just a bloated version of my undergrad career. Cram, read, cram, cross your fingers that the exam went better than you thought it did.
And I've now added: drink after particularly difficult days.
But I'm not alone in the realm of crying. We've all been there. So if anyone ever says to you "There's no crying in graduate school" call them out for the lying bastard they are. And maybe punch them in the face.
-Elise
I've never cried so much over something academic in my entire life. Sure, I've been upset over exams, cried over frustrating English papers, wanted to throw History out the window. But I've never cried so much in such a sort period of time out of pure frustration with the sheer amount of knowledge they expect us to cram into our heads. I always thought graduate school would be about learning how to think and analyze, and I'm sure at some point I'll get there (maybe...), but for now it's just a bloated version of my undergrad career. Cram, read, cram, cross your fingers that the exam went better than you thought it did.
And I've now added: drink after particularly difficult days.
But I'm not alone in the realm of crying. We've all been there. So if anyone ever says to you "There's no crying in graduate school" call them out for the lying bastard they are. And maybe punch them in the face.
-Elise
Friday, November 4, 2011
I'm going to quit today.
Today, just now, I decided I'm going to quit graduate school. Next week is an exam for which I am unable to fully prepare, as well as a rotation talk about my project that I failed to complete. If I don't at least pass the exam, I have to re-take the class next year. I do not, under any circumstance, wish to do that. So today I'm going to quit.
I am sure that after the exam is over, the talks are completed, and I'm safely in my next rotation, I will probably decide not to quit anymore. Although, I cannot guarantee it.
I'm starting to think that graduate school is a cruel joke played on people who think they want to do research. Like a sort of hazing, to make sure you're serious. It sucks.
-Elise
I am sure that after the exam is over, the talks are completed, and I'm safely in my next rotation, I will probably decide not to quit anymore. Although, I cannot guarantee it.
I'm starting to think that graduate school is a cruel joke played on people who think they want to do research. Like a sort of hazing, to make sure you're serious. It sucks.
-Elise
Friday, October 28, 2011
Let the games begin.
As I was sitting in laboratory today, staring blankly at the NSF Pre-Doctoral Fellowship Research Proposal that I am supposed to be writing, I realized that my life would make an extremely boring blog. And so, of course I want to subject the world to my ramblings about my life, because anything is better than writing this proposal.
Being a graduate student has completely changed the way I think about everything. Science is no longer something I simply read about and accept what I am told, but rather something to be questioned constantly. In high school they lie to you, they make you read books and they say "this is how it works" when really they don't know how it works, they're guessing and no one has proved them wrong yet. I read a handful of primary literature papers every week, and half of them are bullshit. Complete bullshit.
The other half of being a graduate student (the first half being reading everything you possibly can, in case that was unclear) is doing research itself. This is the part that I love and hate all at once. Reading is okay, I don't love it and I don't hate it. Research is like my Significant Other when he's being particularly difficult about something. I just want to smack him and tell him to cut it out.
Take this week for example:
Monday: Prepare gels for the week (Western and DNA). Start PCR.
Tuesday: Run gels, examine PCR results: Gel melts and bands are not in a line. Diagnosis: repeat next week.
Wednesday: Incubate Western Blot then develop: total time about 7 hours. Results: ugly, blown out bands that cannot be used for interpretation.
Thursday: Strip Western, try again. Results: Failure once more. Diagnosis: repeat next week.
TL;DR of the week: Nothing worked right, and I have to do it all again next week.
I wish I could say this wasn't typical. It is. Failure happens at least once a week, if not in the form of scientific results, then in the fact that I slammed my hand in a freezer door, or worse yet my head. It makes me want to give up...
But then I realize that my results may not be pretty, but they reveal something I didn't know before. And they tell me something about biology that others have never seen. And I fall in love with Science all over again. Because science is really about discovery, answering questions, and being wrong about 70-80% of the time.
-Elise
Being a graduate student has completely changed the way I think about everything. Science is no longer something I simply read about and accept what I am told, but rather something to be questioned constantly. In high school they lie to you, they make you read books and they say "this is how it works" when really they don't know how it works, they're guessing and no one has proved them wrong yet. I read a handful of primary literature papers every week, and half of them are bullshit. Complete bullshit.
The other half of being a graduate student (the first half being reading everything you possibly can, in case that was unclear) is doing research itself. This is the part that I love and hate all at once. Reading is okay, I don't love it and I don't hate it. Research is like my Significant Other when he's being particularly difficult about something. I just want to smack him and tell him to cut it out.
Take this week for example:
Monday: Prepare gels for the week (Western and DNA). Start PCR.
Tuesday: Run gels, examine PCR results: Gel melts and bands are not in a line. Diagnosis: repeat next week.
Wednesday: Incubate Western Blot then develop: total time about 7 hours. Results: ugly, blown out bands that cannot be used for interpretation.
Thursday: Strip Western, try again. Results: Failure once more. Diagnosis: repeat next week.
TL;DR of the week: Nothing worked right, and I have to do it all again next week.
I wish I could say this wasn't typical. It is. Failure happens at least once a week, if not in the form of scientific results, then in the fact that I slammed my hand in a freezer door, or worse yet my head. It makes me want to give up...
But then I realize that my results may not be pretty, but they reveal something I didn't know before. And they tell me something about biology that others have never seen. And I fall in love with Science all over again. Because science is really about discovery, answering questions, and being wrong about 70-80% of the time.
-Elise
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